Movie Review: CARRIERS

Spielberg in Stilletos

Dvd reviews by Maelina de Grasse

End of the World Blah Blah Blah

“Carriers”

Directors: Alex and David Pastor

Starring: Lour Taylor Pucci, Chris Pine, Piper Perabo, Emily VanCamp

Runtime: 84 minutes

For your own sake, please read these next few lines and save yourself 84 minutes of actually watching Carriers.

An unstoppable virus pandemic takes over the world. Four dim witted, irritating college kids try to outrun it and epically fail due to their overwhelming stupidity. Everyone gets infected and turns against one another. The End.

Okay, so not everyone dies at the end of the flic, but they may as well have. They make so many stupid decisions that it brings to question whether or not they really should be the ones to survive and repopulate society.

Let's review stupid decision number one: anger the guy who is stranded on the highway with a sick little girl, no gas in the car, and a gun in his hand, by refusing to help him. Why is this stupid? Because the angry man gets a few lucky shots into the radiator and their car breaks down 30 minutes later. Karma’s a bitch.

So, with civilization miles away in either direction and an undamaged vehicle not too far behind them, the kids are forced to bring gas from their own car back to the stranger. Which leads us to stupid decision number two: getting into the same car that’s had a virus carrier in it for God knows how long, and thinking some plastic wrap and duct tape between you and the infected is going to serve as sufficient protection. Please.

Some could argue that these incidents are all circumstantial and the protagonists didn’t have any other options. But please stay tuned for stupid decision number three. One of the girls is left alone in the car with the sick kid in the back and when the poor little girl starts coughing, this brilliant chick thinks its a good idea to tear down the lame ass barrier, and fling herself back there. To accomplish what, exactly? The little girl is dying of a toxic virus, what could she possibly do for her? Sure, it’s brutal but it’s the truth. So, of course, the little girl coughs up a bunch of blood, which hits the heroic (aka stupid) college chick right in the face. As it turns out, consequences  are a bitch too.

Predictably, the petrified teen wipes her face and pretends like it never happened (stupid decision number four), and so starts the inevitable sequence of desertion and betrayal and death. Cue end credits.